consolations

Someone wise said, "At night your lover roams, except no consolations."
I reach deep inside of myself and ask, "Why?", but I am handed those moments of bliss.
I don't want those short, sporadic moments.
They are too few and sometimes in a haze of mistrust.
I curse the side of me that questions and doesn't fall freely into love.
If I were to grab a hold of that person, would I lash out or would I be thankful?
I can almost feel my lover. He's here right now in my mind. I'm with him, but at a distance.
I feel him leaving again. He's gone.
I can't make him feel things he doesn't.
I have done all that I can do.
My patience has been endless.
I don't want the consolation hours.
I want him to want to be with me during them all.
Living and sharing my life.
I can't make him want what he doesn't.
I can't want any less.
I can feel my lover leaving.
He is gone.